A walk in the mountains yesterday inspired this blog.  As I chatted with friends about changes in our lives we observed the changing landscape around us and acknowledged the parity between our surroundings and our conversation.  Change is just a necessary part of life.  It appears to happen so eloquently and seamlessly in nature yet in life change can be difficult, painful and challenging.  

This got me wondering what our resistance to change is about.  Is it that the place of change is unfamiliar territory? Is it sometimes easier to live with what we know even when what we know is causing us pain.  If you’re used to feeling that people hurt you and let you down, that you’re unattractive, that you’re not clever or that you’re always broke, then you know how to feel those things.  You know exactly what that feeling is like, and though it may not be a desirable feeling, it’s highly predictable. Letting go of what’s familiar to you is like transporting yourself to a new country where you don’t speak the language.

And sometimes, unbeknownst to us, we keep ourselves where we consciously don't want to be because subconsciously we know it so well, we know it's safe, we know the pain and we know how to manage it.  And stepping outside the walls of this safe place into the unknown can feel way too scary.  

So if change is so difficult at times how do we overcome our fears to take the first step and the answer is you don't.  You feel the fear and take one step at a time.  You don't need to wait for the fear to abate.  In the words of the wonderful Buddhist Pema Chodron “Usually we think that brave people have no fear, the truth is that they are intimate with fear”. 

I'll leave you with some more food for thought in two more of my favourite quotes around change;

‘Jump and the net will appear’   and

‘Sometimes you gotta leap, and grow your wings on the way down’

Thanks to my walking buddies for your contribution to this blog – you know who you are💗

Photo courtesy of me and my iPhone 

If you're struggling with change and feel you need help working through it you can contact me, Elaine, in confidence on 087-1046880 or email ehanlonpsychotherapy@gmail.com

 

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